Vulnerability: The art of being courageous

Coming from the psychology background, it reminds me of “Existential therapy” which I feel is closely related to being vulnerable and the necessity of it. This particular therapy focuses on the freedom and the responsibility that an individual takes to make their own life choices and remains to stay authentic to their own self.  Also, it focuses on how anxiety, being fearful, and nervous is a natural part of human existence and we should come in terms with these emotions to live authentically.

Human beings have this tendency to experience varied emotions, perceptions and thoughts in order to reach their highest potential while also experiencing a stage of being vulnerable. At this stage of vulnerability, we all try to get away with this emotion to avoid feeling ashamed for exposing our true self to the world out there.

It is obvious that when we open ourselves up there to the world, there will be a lot of rejections. This might end up lowering your self esteem. Now, the question that some of us might be thinking is, then why should we open up when wearing a mask and pretending to be cool is much easier?

Vulnerability for me, is having the audacity to be true to yourself and others. But most of the times,  we wear a mask just to please others and in the process we lose our real self. As a result, we end up bottling all our emotions to avoid being seen as a weak person. (Because we associate being vulnerable to being weak)

At this point, I would like to share my personal experience in order to relate to my above point. It took me a long time to come out with this blog because I was always scared of what if people could not relate to what I wrote, what if I give too much in my writing, what if i make too many grammatical errors, what if I am too loud, open and clear with my thoughts to which people might judge me. But, I realized in order to start something, it is important to be vulnerable. It is first important to accept my own feelings and emotions.  It’s important to be anxious because it is required to reach our goal. I finally accepted that I need to share my writing but whatever happens next isn’t under my control. There are times when I get really conscious, fearful, and anxious and sometimes regret posting my write ups. Research professor, Brene Brown called this as ‘Vulnerability hangover’ (the feeling that we get once we decide to be our real self and express our emotions clearly) and all this feeling can be awful and can really trouble us and can make us uncomfortable. But it is not always a bad thing, right?

  People commenting on my posts, good or bad, I have no control over it but I have the courage to feel it all. Courage to accept “yes, I made a mistake there because it’s okay, if you don’t know everything and it’s okay, if you accept that you are not good at it. But it is not okay to not give it a try. it is not okay ton run away from your fears. I find it easier to be really open with my emotions (sometimes apprehensive as well) through my writings, because I feel, me writing about my personal issues sometimes might make the readers feel that they are not alone and there is someone who is going through the same situation and it helps them to deal with it. It is my way of connecting to people. I cannot just pretend to write something that does not own me. And that’s how I finally ended up starting my own blog.

When we try to deny our own vulnerability, when we try to deny our own weakness, sadness, neediness, we are actually starting to become less of human. It is important to be vulnerable with what we feel and how we feel. Accept our emotions and learn that it is okay to accept our feelings for even if others do not reciprocate it. But it is not okay to bottle up your emotions in the fear of society judging you, because then we are not being your authentic self.


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